Let that not be you ...for once !

I love Julia Roberts ...And I love eating out and but how do we look like her and manage the affair with Pizza. 

Based on my himalayan research and secret passed on from sages from sexy tribe. The undisclosed, untold secret goes somwhat like this 

Rule No. 1

Stay away from Buffet if you are paying for it. Yes, you heard me right. No buffet lunches unless it's free.

Ala carte helps in portion control and also to stay away from mindless eating. Also you need not wipe the plate clean, there are people to do that job at your restaurant of choice. 

Sugar Craving

If you are like me and crave for sugar every now and then, avoid buying sweets and storing it at home. Get one pastry and have it and get it over with. Do not buy more than that and store.  You like Ice cream ? Go to Naturals or Baskin Robins, have one..No take away and storing in the fridge. Stay away from 2 litre Coke bottles, never buy them.  Another trick that works with me is that, no second helping unless its my fav sweet. Its too tempting break that second piece into 2-3 and then have it one by one. Try it , it works.

Rule No. 2 : Sleeeep

Think about it: If you’re feeling sleepy at work, you will be tempted to drink coffee and something sweet for a quick shot of energy. Later you may skip the gym and order dinner -- no time to cook. When you finally find yourself back in your bed, you are too wound up to sleep.

It’s a vicious cycle, and eventually this sleep deprivation can sabotage your waistline and your health.

It starts out innocently enough. “When you have sleep deprivation and are running on low energy, you automatically go for potato chips or other comfort foods.” In my case I binge on sweets.

Rule No. 3 : Shrink Your Plate to Lose Weight 

Buy a beautiful piece of cutlery, a plate that you would love to eat from. But half the size of your current plate. And make it a habit eating only from that plate. And see yourself evolve.

The same applies to you coffee mug, replace it with some expensive flavored green tea..what say :-)

Now, finally What if you get invited for a free Buffet  ???

Going out for a buffet lunch, huh.. pick only dishes you absolutely love. You don't have to be the "victim" of every experiment the Chef did.You need not be the judge of Master Chef and give him/her marks on their culinary expertise. Its not a competition of who tasted maximum number of dishes and said, "Its was not that great". 

Rule No. 4 : Skip the next meal after the buffet and body wouldn't complain. Body would be struggling to digest the enormous portion you had and giving some rest to the digestive system helps recover and also get over the guilt. And by that I don't mean have fruits for dinner :-). "Skip" ! "Skip" .."Skip" !

Make dining out an experience for you to relish and enjoy what you like rather than being a waste bin. Yaa , thats what happens when you treat  your stomach like one.

Don't miss out to increase your water intake ..and also do some "daily" activity ( Shying away from the work work out or exercise)

See you next time at Subway right next to Pizza Hut !

Wow..Look at you !!

 

It all started with that muffin top, right ? When did you first notice that muffin top belly ? Couple of years back ? All through college had washboard abs and then one fine morning woke up to this horror of muffin top.

 Think about it. How many times have you said or thought something like

·       It’s really hard for me to lose weight.

·       I just look at a piece of chocolate cake and gain weight.

·       I have a slow metabolism.

Thoughts like this make you feel like warmed-over teddy bear, but they radically affect your body and what you put into it.

Can we switch the channel and change the direction of our thoughts. Its actually quite boring.    

"Whatever you focus on in your life expands"

What you think and say about yourself, your body, and your food is the hinge upon which your health turns. Your cells eavesdrop on everything you say and think, and by making disparaging comments about your jiggly forearms or turning over the same thought again and again about the tyres around your waist, you’re stamping them into the muscles, glands, and tissues of your mind and body.

Food Fight - Do you overeat healthy food ?

Mom said, "greens, fruits and veggies are healthy". So I eat an apple and a few bananas with breakfast ( read paratha and milk),avoid junk food so only a bowl of sprouts around 11 ish. Lunch is usual 2 chapati ‘s and a bowl of rice, some sides (paneer or chicken), pappad and pickle and some salad  and maybe a sweet dish. By 6  feel damm hungry so hog on some chips or mixture, or a few samosas. Dinner is light …Dal,roti, sabji and some fruits and salads.  

Please.. for reference sake, count the calories from the menu above that you take in ..just one day. And this is without eating out, no festival.. no nothing. You don’t need so much nutrients to lead a healthy life. Do you ??

 If you are having both chapati and rice, one chapati is more than enough. Reduce the quantity of each item by half  and you won’t die of mal nutrition.

You are overeating healthy foods. You need to watch how much you eat of the good stuff. Moderation is the key. Eat anything and everything but in moderation.

Smaller Portion

Use small spoons for serving rice and other dishes.

Train your mind not to go for a second helping “unless its your favourite dish”. My mom has this wonderful habit of cooking everything nutritious ( read everything I hate ) and so I never put on any weight J. I wait for her to cook my favourite meal and that happens at best only once of week. So technically on all other days am on a diet cos I don't eat what I don't like. That's my diet mantra.

Have you thought about this ? You eat more of what you like. But how many things do you really skip anything cos you don't like. Not really, right. List out things that you don't like, and everytime that vegetable or dish is served. Simply skip them and for God's sake the veggie/dish won't feel sad, I promise.

You may have grown up being told to "clean your plate." “Don’t waste food” and how children in Africa are starving. It’s a good thought but unless you are parcelling that left over food to the underprivileged, you are only making yourself obese.

If you have a habit of cleaning your plate now, you're probably overeating. Don’t treat your tummy as a wastebin. The money you save will be spent as hospital bill.

You Wear Clothes That Are Too Big

Get some nice fitting clothes, that highlight your best self. Flaunt yourself, admire yourself, love yourself and you will automatically look good.

And don't miss out on some regular workout :-)

Positive self image ..thats the beginning of all good things to come.

Cheers to the new you and me

How much do you love yourself ? Lots ? Lil ? Very Lil Remember the Kareena Kapoor dialogue from Jab we met " I am my favorite" Can you say that about yourself .

Some where along the way , we got too busy with life. Stopped believing in fairy tales and magic. Became "practical" and started "compromising and adjusting" to life. Remember those college days, when you were in love with yourself, had big dreams and life filled with friends, to where you stand today staring at this self. Will that most popular person in college recognize this face.  

The “monkey mind”—a Buddhist term for the distracted rattle, buzz-buzz, what-should-I-do-what-do-I-do? —was never designed to solve problems.

Lets start from today, lets bring back the magic into life.

Make a list of 100 things you wanna do and achieve... too long okay 50 ? Alright settle for 25 ? 

When I sat down to write mine a couple of years back, it
sounded somewhat like this

1. Find a new (good) job closer to home. ( I was spending 3 hours commuting at that time)
2. Learn something new. ( No idea whatso ever it was)
3. Make new friends (Hadn't made any since college)
4. Take parents on a "big" vacation (Had not been anywhere outside of India)
5. Get healthy plan ( Go for walk every evening ? Gym, uumm will figure out)
6. Read more book (Find a library near home)
7. Go for swimming every weekend
8. Buy my first diamond 
9. Start investing
10. Attend professional conferences or do something to keep myself updated
11. Plan for vacations more often
12. Buy a house (Didn't even have money for down payment) 
13. Upgrade my car
14. Be more patient with my son ( Obviously means spend quality time)
15. Be on time ( If you can't be on time, be early atleast)
16. Get a new hair style (Total make over, always had long hair, so boy cut maybe)

Not in any particular order, but just penned down my list of things to do. A lot of those would not need any additional money. In fact,after the first 10 or 15 you will have no material things to look forward for". I challenge you, Try it. 

I have so far reached line item 21 and is ready to move from first 25 to 50. This one I learnt from Robin Sharma. He is one of my favorite :-) even got a selfie with him. Jokes apart,

Is it difficult ? Its not. The conscious mind was designed for just two things—to identify problems and formulate goals. Most of the times we aren't even conscious of what we want.

If the Genie were to appear tonight what are your 3 wishes ??

Do you have clarity ? Have you prioritized ?

Okay, tell me wots your third wish ? After lots of money and being a snow white beauty.  

Lets meditate, grab our partners and confess our greatest fears. Lets do all kinds of things that will help us get to the bottom of our third wish.

Give it a try and lets see what comes out..

Change the Channel

I’m a single mom, not exactly the best “stereotype”. It brings up certain preconceived notions, people automatically expect me to be poor, depressed, obese. While that’s certainly one of the available options, I prefer to watch a different channel (Thank you Pam Grout).

 
Here’s what my page says: “She is a world traveler, a loving mother, a budding millionaire, a best-selling author (well, you are already reading my post), maintains a figure to die for, and an inspiring witness to everyone she meets.”

 

I have been there, done that .. Being bankrupt to homeless. But this is not about me , This is about you. And you my dear friend, I want you to pay some attention to your life, your finances and your career.

Lets start with money

Do you feel secure financially ? Whatever be your profession , Doctor, Teacher, Scientist, I won't even ask how long have you been working...Don't you feel if you had saved 10% of what you earned over the years you would have been a millionaire by now ? It feels awesome to live a debt free life, to wake up and feel am 'rich'. Here is my definition of being rich. "Rich is when you don't have to think twice about buying anything."

Have I reached there yet ? No, but am on my way .... Let's do it together

Here are the golden rules:

 

Rule No. 1

Income - (minus) Expense is not equal to Savings

Income - (minus) Savings is equal to expenses.

 

Rule No. 2

Divide your income into 2 or 3 equal parts

Part 1 : Expenses

Part 2 : EMI (Home/car/any other)

Part 3 : Savings

 

As your income increases the equation should move to

Part 1 : Expense + EMI

Part 2 : Savings

 

Choose one of the rules from above which seems easier for you to follow. Will take you to financial freedom in 5 years flat ! But hey you and me are not the "rabbit" in the race but more of a "tortoise".

 

Here is an easier start, it helped me achieve a breakthrough.

•  Start with a small target in mind. For eg: Rs.5,000 or 10,000.
•  Open an RD account with the post office or recurring deposit   with your bank.
•  Transfer this on the first day of every month like you pay your utility bills.
• In your mind there is no pre-mature withdrawal option.

Year 2

• Open a SIP account in addition to the above RD and start investing Rs. 10,000 every month.
• Transfer this on the first day of every month like you pay your utility bills.
• In your mind there is no pre-mature withdrawal option.

These two are a part of your expense statement every month and your savings "quota"from the equation above  remains untouched. This should help you build an emergency fund , start with a goal of one month gross earnings and throw a party when you achieve 6 months earnings tucked away into a different bank account. Keep it as far as possible and if you resist the temptation for a year, then you are allowed to dip your hand into the candy jar and refill as soon as you can. You are free to keep me as the "guardian" for the "angel" fund !!!

Lets start with making ourselves happy. Along with feeding builders and designers , lets enjoy life as we earn.

Start with giving yourself a generous allowance. Its like dieting, if your start off with starving, your diet plan will backfire in less than a week. We are in this for a long haul. How much is a "good allowance" which includes

- Shopping Plan
- Eating out schedule
- Movies
- Miscellaneous (Anything else)

Can we agree on these principles.

Buying only one set of clothes at a time, however you are allowed to buy often, Now decide how much is your estimated budget. Let's say Rs. 1500-2000. Cool, that's line item 1. Keep buying every alternate month or even every month, and be in trend. When you buy 3-4 sets , they get faded together, go out of fashion together. And you hate all your clothes anyway, don't you. Buy the best ones, sale or no sale. But Summer or winter only one set at a time.

You like eating out ? I just love it. Lets decide on the frequency. Every weekend or twice a month ? If you are a fine dining person, is it possible to be happy with 2 visits to fancy restaurants ?  Now here is the trick. Stick to your 'favorite' food. Don't waste your energy just b'cos you haven't tried that fancy sounding dish. And for 2 people you don't need 4 dishes. Most of the time you can judge a persons character by the way they order food. Are you the kind who is like I wanna try this and that and also that yummy desert and your partner has to order something that he can have too. Think about it. World isn't ending today, you can always have that fancy dish next time. Can we agree at an allowance of  Rs. 4000 a month, that's for two lunch/dinner outings, right. Excellent, that's line item 2.

Movies : This could also be bi-monthly, add another Rs. 2000 to it.

All other pursuits : Keep a buffer of Rs. 4000. Do whatever else you like. Get a nice massage, or a session with the new hairstylist in town,  join belly dancing, or even kick boxing like me.

This sounds super cool. All 'you' need for your personal expenses is just 10K !!! You have already equivalent amount in your savings plan. Challenge yourself that you are allowed to increase your personal allowance at the same ratio of savings. So if you wanna spend 15k on a festive month, you first have to save 15k. What say ?? Trust me by third month you would say lemme spend 9k so that I have to only save 9k ...And there you have achieved your first milestone. Being in control. Its a mind game.

So what do you do if you exhaust your allowance by 25th of a month. Very simple stay at home and watch TV ..There is action, romance, drama..all yours.

Now there is more to life that just money..watch this space for more.

 

Mystery Eyes

It was a hot summer afternoon. Sunday Soul Sante was in full spree. I and my girls friends have been waiting for this summer edition for a long time. Fun, frolic and entertainment. Soul Sante is my favorite event in the city. You get to see the fashionista , the art lovers, foodies, all under one roof. The atmosphere is just electric.

This is probably my third outing to the Sante and I have always noticed this tarot reader who is a regular at the event. Have always been fascinated with tarot readers. There is some kind of mystery in their eyes. As if they have access to a world beyond you. Some karmic connection. I don’t believe in astrology or godmen or anything that defies logic. Yet this lady, who  in her late 40’s attracted me soo much. Extremely beautiful, with long straight hair, and those silver streaks gave her an elegant touch. Her eyes were deep… hazel eyes. You get drawn into them.

I kept watching her , standing at a distance. Her clients were two college girls. They wanted to know about career direction. She was so patient with them, counseling one of the girls that she should join her father in the family business and should not even think twice. I was quite impressed by her approach and counseling and decided to give it a try.

What I was about to experience is something totally unexpected and was completely new to me. She offered me a seat and we exchanged a few pleasantries. She explained the rate card. A full tarot reading which covers all aspects of your life career, finances, relationships etc. or you could ask two questions. I chose the latter. She asked for my birthdate and closed her eyes for 10 seconds. “Sometime during the middle of last year you decided to break free from all ties, friends and family and you wanted to explore the world at your own terms, this year you did achieve or do some of those things in your list of to-do’s, You are a free spirit !! ” My eyes literally popped out. Here I am sitting across a complete stranger wearing a pair of black jeans and a full sleeve top ( there was no power at home and so could not iron any of my cotton tops) no funky jewellery, no nothing that could give her any hint about what kinda personality I am.I was bowled !!

She went on to talk about “love” and gave me a lil gyan about it. Honestly I was too shocked to even concentrate or even understand what she was trying to tell me about love.

She said, this year am moving closer to God. Donno if that’s true cos I feel am moving away. Yes I do thank god almighty for everything I have in life..but lack a purpose or dream or even a wish list.
We moved on to relationships. I have never been a relationship keeper, so this is a vulnerable area.” You are a strong person, you have very high expectations from others and when they fail you find it very hard to accept it. There is lot of work that you need to do in this area. Let your anger out, holding it inside will make you burst. Start doing things for others when they aren’t asking for it.” You always do things when friends and family asks for it, however what will help you build solid connection is when you do without them asking or even before they ask. ” So what is your first question ? I fumbled with words as I didn’t really have one. ” Its the same , why do I have difficulties with relationships, in general for eg : it starts with my mother ” She goes on to explain that “expectations are the cause” and I keep wondering, Is that so ? What expectations do I have from Mom ?

And then she says ” You cannot accept it when someone tells you what to do , whereas you expect others to follow what you say ” There ..she said it ! That’s so much me … It was like someone from inside me was talking. Who else would know me so very well.

“Will I meet my soul mate anytime soon ??” She spreads the tarot cards and picked one which had the image of “twin flames” says, yes ofcourse. July is a good time. You need to be open to it. You have to believe that you are “worthy” of it. Go in with an open mind and things will unfold. There are blocks within you which you need to let go and cleanse your relationships until then. I was pretty much done. Didn’t have another question. What else could I ask ? Will I get a promotion ? That conversation I already had with my wonderful Boss,  last week. Finances are in order. House ..no don’t need another one. Enough of EMI non-sense. New car, well …choose the model, go to the showroom and pick the colour. I took my wallet out and she says, no we aren’t done yet.
She spreads the cards again and asks me pick one, I picked one and handed over to her. Come’on it was too much of a coincidence the same card ‘twin flames’ , and we both couldn’t resist laughing.
She continued chatting about life and relationships. We said bye to each other and I was ready to move on…She had touched my life..so dearly. Thank you Universe

What Every Woman Should Have

Originally written by Pamela Redmond Satran and was published in Glamour magazine in May, 1997.

What Every Woman Should Have:
-One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to (even if you wouldn’t) and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.
-Enough money within your control to move out and rent a place on your own, even if you never want or need to.
-Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.
-A purse, a suitcase and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.
-A youth you’re content to move beyond.
-A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.
-A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra.
-One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.
-A good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.
-Eight matching plates, wineglasses with stems and a recipe for a meal that will make your guests feel honored.
-A resume that is not even the slightest bit padded.
-A feeling of control over your destiny.
-A skin care regime, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30.
-A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship and all those other facets of life that do get better.

Every Woman Should Know:

-How to fall in love without losing yourself.
-How you feel about having kids.
-How to quit a job, break up with a man and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
-When to try harder and when to walk away.
-How to kiss a man in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.
-How to have a good time at a party you’d never choose to attend.
-How to ask for what you want in a way that makes it most likely you’ll get it.
-That you can’t change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents.
-That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.
-What you would and wouldn’t do for love or money.
-How to live alone, even if you don’t like it.
-Who you can trust, who you can’t, and why you shouldn’t take it personally.
-Where to go – be it your best friend’s kitchen table or a charming inn hidden in the woods – when your soul needs soothing.
-What you can and can’t accomplish in a day, a month, and a year.
-Why they say life begins at 30.

Learn from your mistakes. Read between the lines.

So you are still trying hard ...to compromise and make it happen.. You got to talk to your innerself. Its the most difficult decision. But defenitly worth your tears and fears. How long do you wanna live under this agony, in pain and soreness that tear you down ? There are a million factors, parents, children, society, money, security ..the list is never ending. The decision is yours and the no one else but you got to live thru.

Rachana Sharma says If you think that these ideas do not work for you, you can start saving money to buy another house , not for your spouse, but for yourself.

1. Marriages are made in heaven but lived on earth.
2. Enjoy the toast if you bought a toaster and juice in case of juicer. Accept that toaster will remain toaster throughout its life. If you open up all of its parts in order to turn it into juicer, beware!! It will be of no use to you.
3. To teach a grown up it is sufficient to mention once or twice. If it is ignored it shows that the person is not ready to be taught yet. To teach somebody, sometimes silence works better and sometimes actions and, trust me, they are louder than our screams and shouts. But if they continue to ignore, the message is clear and loud to you ...Quit trying to impose !!
4. By no means you can make other person ‘understand’ something if he or she is not willing to understand first...Don't waste you energy on never ending arguments.
5. Differences are not always meant to be sorted out; many of them can be enjoyed. And every wrong need not to be corrected.
6. Never lose your focus in life in exchange for the high hopes of marriage. Always have at least one passion in which you can absorb yourself. That is the only key to fulfillment.

Go ahead , live life the way you love it .....